Welcome Johan Andres

I could not believe it took me more than a month to post anything again! Obviously, we have been busy this side of the world. I have to be honest though, the dates of the posts of my other boys are not true. I think Andres' birth account release is the earliest. Without further ado, here goes:

• 0330 bloody show
• 0400 observing if there are contractions, there were some but not consistent, tried to sleep but couldn't since I was trying to observe my body
• 0500 decided to take a bath. this took some time since there are contractions
• 0600 sent my OB-GYN a message. having contractions within 10 minute intervals
• 0610 ate breakfast
• 0650 go to the hospital
• 0730 found out I'm 5cm dilated and 90% effaced

After this I don't have any idea of the time. I just know I squirmed in pain and prayed that the anesthesiologist hurry up in giving my epidural. Since not all pregnancies and deliveries are the same, the epidural seemed to take its own sweet time to effect! The doctors were expecting for the meds to lessen my pain but as far as my facial expression is concern, the pain is definitely a 10. For the first time I was given a mask for oxygen. I had to ask why since this never happened before. They just told me it was for the baby. Of course I complied. Anything for my little one. After I calmed down. They left me. Suddenly, my bag broke! People rushed back in my unit. I could hear one calling the OB-GYN and others yelling to prepare the DR. I was still in pain and too exhausted to do anything. I just let them do all the work and brought me to the delivery room. My doctor came, and I was ready to push. After the first lame push, I gave to hard ones and out came our JOHAN ANDRES screaming his lungs out at 9:49am.

Well done my boy! Thank you Lord for helping us. For the record, this is the most painful delivery for me.

Vital Statistics:
APGAR score: 9-9
weight: 6 lbs 6 oz
height: 48 cm
blood type: A+

2012 Targets

I will not make resolutions but I will list down things I want to accomplish for this year. Some may be trivial for others but they are all important to me and will make me a better person.

1. Safely deliver a healthy, normal, kind, happy, smart and loving baby boy.
2. Top the real estate broker's exam this March 2012.
3. Weigh 120 pounds by Dec 2012.
4. Bring down my cholesterol level to normal values.
5. Start my own business.

This is my initial list. It is a work in progress. It might just be for the first 6 months of this year but I hope to accomplish all of them. Please pray that God will bless these targets and that they will reach their fruition.

2011: A Review

It has been an eventful 2011 for our family and here are some of the significant milestones for the year:

1.  Biboy leaves corporate to be in real estate full time.
2.  First airplane ride for Rafa and Lucas.
3.  First time to go to Bohol for Rafa, Lucas, and grandmothers.
4.  Lucas can ride the twist car.
5.  Biboy became a real estate broker.
6.  Experienced farm life and fishing in Pampanga with our ates.
7.  Rafa started Nursery in Child's S.P.A.C.E.
8.  The brood is growing, a third baby on the way.
9.  Lucas showed no sign of VUR in the last VCUG and stopped taking prophylaxis.
10. Lucas' 2D echo showed excellent results. No need for maintenance medicine.
11. Went on a Marian "pilgrimage" where Rafa and Lucas offered roses to Our Blessed Virgin Mary.
12. Lucas celebrated his birthday in heaven.
13. Biboy grossed a personal record sales.

I should put down more but I could not think of anything else after I wrote number 12. We continue to praise God for all the blessings He generously bestow upon our family. We look forward to greater blessings in 2012.

Team Studer: 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons

I will not claim that I made this myself but I just wanted to repost it here so it would be easier to find when I want to review it.

With that said, I would like to thank Tabitha for sharing her "rules".

1. Teach him the words for how he feels.

Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He'll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.


2. Be a cheerleader for his life

There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to "stop, mom" when you sing along to his garage band's lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you've been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he's embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.


3. Teach him how to do laundry

..and load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.

4. Read to him and read with him.

Emilie Buchwald said, "Children become readers on the laps of their parents." Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading...reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.


5. Encourage him to dance.

Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet - they have some form of the three. It doesn't have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it's perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.


6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.

The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform (like Batman and LaMarr Woodley) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen (Mark Twain), and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity (Officer Frank Shankwitz), and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).


7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity

The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphne Blake, Princess Jasmine, and Britney Spears) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Marie Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).


8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.

You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero. do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.


9. Teach him to have manners

because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.


10. Give him something to believe in

Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won't be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.


11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle

like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people's feelings.


12. Let him ruin his clothes

Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You'll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don't waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.


13. Learn how to throw a football

or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.


14. Go outside with him

turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It's like magic.


15. Let him lose

Losing sucks. Everybody isn't always a winner. Even if you want to say, "You're a winner because you tried," don't. He doesn't feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that's a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again.....) Instead make sure he understands that - sometimes you win - sometimes you lose. But that doesn't mean you ever give up.


16. Give him opportunities to help others

There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.


17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.

This doesn't just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks - they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.


18. Answer him when he asks, "Why?"

Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he's too embarrassed to ask you - he'll know where to go to find the right answers.


19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.

especially the wipes.


20. Let his dad teach him how to do things
...without interrupting about how to do it the 'right way.' If you let his dad show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing his dad knows nothing), he will come to the realization that his dad knows everything. You will always be his mother, but in his grown-up man heart and mind, his dad will know the answers. And this will be how, when your son is too busy with life to call and chat with his mom, you will stay connected to what is happening in his life. Because he will call his dad for answers, and his dad will secretly come and ask you.


21. Give him something to release his energy

drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with - or he will use your stuff. and then you'll be sorry.

22. Build him forts

Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he'll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.

23. Take him to new places

Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.

24. Kiss him

Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, 'what happens in between that made you lose that?' Let's try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they're loving and kissing them even more when they're wild. Kissing them when they're 2 months and kissing them when they're 16 years old. You're the mom - you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets - and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad's too).


25. Be home base

You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
 
source:http://studerteam.blogspot.com/2011/11/25-rules-for-mothers-of-sons.html

I Miss You Too...Author Unknown

I don't know if it is just a thursday ... anyway, this was given to me in one of our prayer meetings after Luc went to heaven...


Mommy please don't be sad,
I miss you so much too.
It's beautiful here,
but I worry a lot about you.
I sleep with angels watching me...
there is only love up here.
I am never lonely or afraid
because God is so very near.
I walk with Jesus everyday,
He is very kind and loving.
Don't worry Mom, He holds my hand
when we cross a golden street.
I never cry or hurt myself
I see Grandpa everyday.
I play and laugh and sing a lot
and I hear you when you pray.
Please Mommy, don't be mad at God,
you see He loves me too.
And even though you are not with me,
I am really still with you.

Need Help for Sendong Victims

When I saw this picture, it broke my heart. It reminded me of my husband as he carried the lifeless body of our son a few months back. I know our family's Christmas will be very different this year. I'm also sure a lot of families in Mindanao are in much worse situations. Along with prayers, I appeal to your kind hearts to help our brothers and sisters. Here are some of the organizations that you can contact:

Personally, I got in touch with One Meralco Foundation since this is easily accessible to me. For inquiries, contact 632-8301.

As for the rest, I just lifted from this site:

http://www.interaksyon.com/article/19904/ways-to-help-sendong-flood-victims

1. TV5 Kapatid Foundation

Cash donations may be sent through the following accounts:
TV5 Kapatid Foundation Inc. BDO Savings Account No. 005310-410164 and
Bank of the Philippine Islands Savings Account No. 1443-05333-2
Donations in kind like food, clothing, utensils, blankets, mats, water containers, and medicines may be sent to News5 Aksyon Center, TV5 office in San Bartlolome, Novaliches, Quezon City.
For inquiries, please call News5 Aksyon Center hotline - 938-6393.

2. Red Cross: to help, send RED to 4143 (Smart) and RED to 2899 (Globe).
* Smart subscribers may send financial help to the Philippine Red Cross through text. To donate, cellphone users should send RED to 4143. Valid donation amounts are 10, 25, 50 and 100 and will be charged to the subscriber’s prepaid load or postpaid bill.
* Globe subscribers may send help to Red Cross. Just text RED and send to 2899. Valid donation amounts are 10, 25, 50, 100 (For ex, RED 10).

3. SMART Subscribers
* Smart subscribers all over the country may send help to those affected by typhoon Sendong. Smart Money users can instantly transfer funds through their mobile phones to the official Baha Fund account number 5577 5130 6822 1104. Donors may also deposit cash to the same Smart Money account number in any Banco De Oro branch nationwide or through Hapinoy and Cebuana Lhuillier outlets.
* SMARTCares: Subscribers may donate to #Sendong victims via text. Just send RED to 4143. Valid donation amounts 10, 25, 50, 100.”

4. Globe Subscribers
Through GCASH, text DONATE and send to 2882.

5. Iligan Bloggers Society through One For Iligan allows you to donate $1 for the Iligan flood victims of typhoon Sendong.
* One for Iligan is a Google doc that tells you how you can donate at least US$1 via PayPal
* Contact points
SITE: http//:iliganbloggers.comEMAIL: iliganbloggers@gmail.comFB Fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/iliganbloggers
* How to else to help?The group Iligan Bloggers Society says that aside from paypal donations, they are also asking for canned goods, noodles, bath and laundry soaps, toothpaste, rice, used clothings and slippers.

6. DXIC
SITE: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/rmn-dxic-iliganFB Fanpage: http://www.facebook.com/iliganbloggers

7. Xavier University, Tabang Sendong
* Any help -- food, clothes, books, bottled water, others -- can be sent to Fr. Eric Garcia Velandria SJ, coordinator of Sendong Operation, KKP Office, Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan, 9000, Corrales Ave. Cagayan de Oro City, Philippines.
According to XU-CSG President, GemGem Tero, food and clothes donations are more needed.
Account Name: Xavier University
Bank Name: Bank of the Philippine Islands, CDO Divisoria Branch
Account Number: 9331-0133-63

8. Armed Forces of the Philippines
The Civil Relations Service AFP at Camp Aguinaldo is accepting donations. It will fly donations/relief goods via C130.
Contact details: Situation Awareness Center (SAC), CRS AFP, Camp Aguinaldo, QC
Landline: 912-6615
CP Nr. (0917)2471252
Focal Person: Lt. Col. Rolando Rodil, Operations Officer

9. Department of Social Welfare and Development
Volunteers are needed at DSWD Cagayan de Oro (Masterson Road, Upper Carmen) to repack and deliver relief goods. Call 09066150095 @DSWDserve

10. The Oblate Missionary Foundation (OMF) accepts donation for the victims of Sendong.
Email us: oblate.missionaryfoundation@gmail.com
Call or text us 0644212652/09177204604/09228366422
You can send food items, drinking water, used clothing, blankets, medicines, cash and what you have to the following dropping centers.

11. Panday Bulig Relief and Rehabilitation Center
Tabang Mindanao Center 12th-22nd streets, Nazareth 9000 Cagayan de Oro CityT/F: +63 (88) 856 6413E: pandaybulig@gmail.com(look for Ms. Beryl Tranco)

12. Rural Missionaries of the Philippines
Northern Mindanao Sub-Region Room 01, Kalinaw Lanao Center0016 Bougainvilla Puti, Villaverde9200 Iligan CityT/F: +63 223 5179E: rmpnmr@gmail.comW: www.rmp-nmr.org(look for Ms. Ida Melody Bucog)

13. Drop Center in Metro Manila c/o StartArt Project
10A Alabama st New Manila Quezon CityMobile:+63926 7112450
email:info@startartprject.org
ornikkiluna@startartproject.org

For cash donations, please send to this account:
Bank Name and Address:Bank of the Philippine Islands (BPI)Quezon Avenue branch, 9200 Iligan City, Philippines
Account number: 009359-1348-08
Swift Code: BOPIPHMM
Account Name and Address: RMP-NMR Inc.

3 months in heaven

Three months ago, around this time, you have gone to heaven. We are still in the PICU waiting for Lola, Mamita, and the others to arrive. Tatay and I took turns carrying your body. It was heavy and cold. Your skin on the torso is purplish while your extremites are yellow. They removed the tubes and cleaned you up. They wrapped you in white plastic as we wait for the funeral parlor to pick up your remains.

A lot of people were there to see you. Ninang Ollie and Ninong Patrick, Tito Chris, Tito Manny, Auntie Yvette and Uncle Chito, Tita Grace and Ate Marie, Tita Salie are some of the people who saw you in the PICU. Others waited with Nanay and Tatay at the admitting area: Ninang Claire and Ninong Mike, Tita Janice, Tito Mannix and Tita Gio, Tito Danny and Tita Cecil, Uncle Nilo were there too. We received calls from Lola Lety, Auntie Nina and Lola Doris too.

Ninang Ollie and Lola got clothes for you to wear during the wake. They also picked up Ahiya from school. Ahiya still did not know what happened then.

Tatay and I went with you to Loyola in an ambulance while Ninang Ollie and Lola followed in the car. After which we went home and rested. We went back to Loyola with Ahiya to pick you up. Tatay even combed your hair. (a lot of people commented on your get up and hair) We followed the ambulance to Christ the King.

In CTK, Ahiya saw you for the first time. At first he did not want to look at you in the "special bed". After some time, he did and held back his tears. He just cried in front of Ate Michelle. Ahiya did not cry again after that. He only have good memories of you. He always reminds us of your tricks and your favorite things.

One of the things that help me remember you is this letter written by Teacher Kathy, your physical therapist. You have been together for over two years. Teacher helped you reach your developmental milestones. She is currently in Belgium for further studies.

Everytime I read this it makes me smile and sad at the same time. It is always good to remember the good and happy times. We love you Luc and we miss you so much.

Actively Waiting...

It is the season of Advent. We are all preparing for Christmas but this year, we are more active in our preparations. Here is the wreath we made as we prepare ourselves for the coming of our Savior.

We are currently looking for a short prayer or ceremony for Advent that a 4 year old can endure. We want the ceremony to be meaningful yet still fun for the kids. We don't want them dreading prayer time because it is too long :P If you have something, please share :) Thanks in advance.

Of course our Lucas should also take part in the preparations. We made him his wreath as well.

Lucas is the perfect example of someone who is actively waiting. I remember, whenever I go home, he is by the window waiting for the car to pull up. He calls / shouts to announce our arrival. As I open the door, he would be the first to greet me by kissing my hand ("mano" in filipino), hugging and kissing me. Aw, after a day's work, it's the best recipe to melt all your tiredness away!

Thank you, Luc. Loves and misses you so much!

Oh, Rafa had show and tell in school today. They culminated their discussion on community helpers. Here is his DIY police costume with an attitude :)

Rafa' Prayer for Our Youngest Member

As part of our evening prayers, we pray for our special intentions. We pray for our loved ones, those who are sick etc. Recently. we also pray for the baby inside my tummy. Our big brother Rafa prayed this last night: that the bones are not broken and the heart is not broken. AWW... it melted our hearts to hear that from him. How can God not grant that prayer? Haha Thank you Ahiya (big brother in Fookien) for that wonderful prayer intention for our baby boy! Your brothers are so blessed to have you as their Ahiya.

Oyayi ni Jose at Maria

Oyayi ni Jose at Maria (Lullaby of Joseph and Mary) is an original composition of Mimmon Vicente of 29AD. 29AD is the music ministry of Couples for Christ Central A3 cluster. After our son, Lucas, died, the composer dedicated this song to him. My husband made this AVP for the song. Hope you enjoy it.

A Blessed Christmas to all.

We love you, Lucas! Christmas would be very different this year without you.